10 weeks ago doctors spotted a “shadow” on my liver, which turned out to be a whole bunch of lumps. After an x-ray, ultrasound, MRI, nuclear medicine scan, a biopsy and 10 weeks of limbo, I found out on Friday that it’s not cancer.
Big sigh of relief!!
These past 10 weeks have been very stressful for me as I reflected on my life: past, present and future.
My present is fabulous – I’m living the dream! I love my life now that I’m following my passion, seeing the beauty in the world, and sharing it with a wonderful man who loves me. We have no debt, we’re free to do as we please with no anchors holding us down, and our lives are full of adventure.
But going through this time of worry, I couldn’t shake the thought that my feelings in the past would impact my future. This thought kept running through my mind:
“I wished my life away.”
It was all those years that I didn’t like my life, when I only saw the bad things in the world, and I didn’t want to be in it. I wondered if I spent so much time not liking life that it caught up with me. I felt like standing up and yelling “I changed my mind!”
Maybe I’ve discovered the purpose of life after all: to find the thing that makes you want to be part of this. It’s a quest to find the beauty, the goodness, the happiness.
Or perhaps it’s to choose it.
Perhaps the best way to fight evil and injustice is to simply lead a good and just life and help others do the same.
At the very least, all this has made me realize that I have in fact changed my mind. I’ve turned into one of those people who wear the “Life is Good” t-shirt. The same ones I used to roll my eyes at, not being able to understand them at all.
So now we’re free to be snowbirds again!
Our feet have a slight dusting of snow right now though so we just have to wait out this little cold snap we’re having here in BC (and just about everywhere else in North America) and then, in a few days, we can lift our wings and fly south again.
The adventure continues…
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I really want to thank you, my readers and friends, who took the time to send me your thoughts and wishes through my blog or social media, and the astounding number of people who reached out to me through email. It really did make a huge difference to get your messages and to know that I’ve helped you in some way.
I never dreamed that my story would resonate with so many people.
I only hope that if there is someone out there reading this who is wishing their life away, they might come to understand that they can change it. It sounds simplistic, but just start living the life you want. It’s not as hard as you think (the thinking is much harder than the doing).
You might feel like an impostor at first, but soon it will become your life, and you’ll wonder why you didn’t change it sooner.